


Sailing ships

by deme_lu



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Love Boat kinda fic, M/M, cruise fic, oblivious dummies, smut MAYBE
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-01-12 19:21:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18452999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deme_lu/pseuds/deme_lu
Summary: April 2019.A bit more than one year after The Ninth's release, the band is about to begin the rehearsal for the upcomming World Your. But before this, they all look forward the much deserved week-off the management promised them.They all have precise plans for their holidays, and none of these plans is involving spending time with their bandmates.Until management makes an unexpected announcement, and they all find themselves on a boat for a cruise nobody wanted to attend in the first place.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don't even ask me what is this^^  
> I woke up with the idea of this cruise that came to my mind out of the blue, and I'm enjoying writing this way too much, so...  
> Let's play a game, I didn't wrote the pairs involved in this story in the tags, so after this first chapter, you can try to guess who loves who and who's the lonely guy (I can assure you this one will not stay lonely for too long, since a surprise guest star is coming soon ;) )... I don't think that will be too difficult to figure it out!  
> Enjoy!

The morning was sunny and warm, and Uruha was lost.

 

He was in the middle of the crowd waiting for the boarding on the huge luxury boat – most of the people here were retired, if you could judge by the color of their hair-, and was desperately searching amongst the sea of people if he could catch a glimpse of one of his four bandmates. Luckily for him, he was taller than most of the people in Japan, and he finally could spot bleached blond hair under a cap not so far away from him, undoubtfully Reita.

 

He tried to reach his best friend, grumbling excuses as he forced his way to him, his guitar on his back and his travel bag in hand. Reita was frowning, searching around him too with an exasperate look, and it was an unusual thing to see. His friend was an easy-going guy, and nothing could quite upset him. The scrawny restless teenager he once was had turned into a calm and collected man, who always had his temper in check, and who didn't let things get him down. To see him without his usual smile and looking so annoyed made Uruha a bit sad.

 

Reita actually deserved holidays, but real holidays, ones that wouldn't be forced down his throat and wouldn't have been dictated by their management.

 

***

 

Until their last meeting with their management staff, two weeks earlier, they'd all known they would have a week off before the preparation and beginning of the world tour, and they were all looking forward to it. Some of them had even began to plan things. It has been one hell of a year, since the release of Ninth, what with the promotional aspects and all the lives they'd performed. They'd all gathered in the huge meeting room, expecting some last minutes informations for their next world tour, unaware of what was to come for them.

 

Then, the unexpected happened, and the management informed them that they should cancel whatever they'd planned because they were all going to have this week off, yes, but that they were going to spend it together.

 

« The fans oversea are waiting for you all to give your best, and we decided it would be better for you to not break the current good dynamic between all members and to make your chemistry even stronger. Plus, we wanted to reward you for the good job, you've all been very invested in the band, and you've worked really hard to be where you are now. That's why we thought about something special for you. We-»

 

« Wait a minute... » Aoi interrupted him. « What does that mean ? I've already booked that boat, and nothing will prevent me from going fishing. It's been too long since I last could have some time for myself ! I need these holidays far from everything, I need them badly ! » If anything, the glare he was sending to the staff spoke volumes about what he thought of their « something special ».

 

« And I booked my plane tickets to meet that designer who will help me for Nilduenilun next collection. And I have to work on it too, it can't be delayed ! » Ruki looked beyond pissed-off too, The dark circles under his eyes betrayed his exhaustion, and everybody knew that a tired Ruki wasn't the best person to deal with.

 

« And I just wanted to rest and enjoy my time in my new appartment. I haven't even finished to unpack my things there ! » Uruha was upset, too. It had already been 9 months since he'd moved in, and he had barely had time to get familiar with his new home.

 

A loud bang on the room's table interrupted them. All the eyes turned to Reita, whose fist had just hit the furniture. He was livid, and everyone stayed still, surprised by the sudden outburst of the usually quiet bassist. He was the calmest of them all, and the frown on his face was a clear indication of his anger.

 

« No way I'm going to cancel my plans ! I promised my sister I would come to spend some time with her and my nephews ! I haven't been able to see them once since almost one year, because of the packed schedule we had. I never complained about it because, hey, it's the job, right ? But now I want some time to see my family ! You can't ask us to do that ! »

 

The principal manager looked at him dead in the eyes, and then gave them all a pointed look.

 

«...Aoi-san, we understand you're annoyed, please give to one of the management staff the details of your booking, and we'll manage for you to get refunded. Ruki-san, you'd assured us that Gazette would be your number one priority above everything else, so maybe it's time to prove us it's still the case. Same for your plane tickets, we'll have them refunded to you. Uruha-san, if there's almost one year that you live there without having things unpacked, one more or less week won't make a difference, am I wrong ? And Reita-san, we would appreciate if you wouldn't let your temper get the best of you, okay ? There's no point in discussing, everything's been set up.»

 

The whole management staff got up, bowed to them tensely, and went out of the room, leaving the members alone and bitter.

 

They all turned to Kai, who'd stayed silent during the whole exchange. He seemed tense, his jaw was clenched. Ruki arched an eyebrow at him.

 

« Didn't you have something to say ? As our leader, you should have defended us ! Why didn't you step in the discussion ? »

 

« I haven't have time to react, to be honest. And I think maybe it's better if I'm going alone to talk to them and try to make them change their mind. I will do my best. »

 

He left them and followed the staff's steps. Ruki went to get his other four bandmates some coffee. They stayed silent, mulling over their forced holidays, and Kai was quick to reappear, dark mood obvious.

 

« They didn't want to hear me out. We'll have the friday afternoon off to pack our things, a car will come to pick us around 8 saturday morning. At 9 we should gather on Tokyo Cruise Port. They booked us a cruise around Asia on a luxury boat. Aoi, Uru and Reita, you're allowed to take your instruments if you want. Ruki-san, for your information, dogs aren't allowed on board. I'm sorry. »

 

He took his jacket from the back of his chair and exited the room, without giving them one last look. The rest of the band followed him silently, separating at the gates of the building without a word.

 

***

 

And here they were, on Tokyo Cruise Port. Uruha finally reached his best friend, and they shared a brief hug. He could say by the way Reita was standing that he was tensed as fuck.

 

« You okay ? »

 

Reita shrugged, and made a face.

 

« I've been mad about this since the beginning, and it's not about to change anytime soon. »

 

« Yeah, I know. I hope you'll be able to catch up time with your family soon. »

 

They were interrupted by Ruki's arrival, followed by a weary Kai, seemingly supporting the weight of the world on his shoulders.

 

« Hey guys, it's great to have a tall blond guitarist ! We've seen you from afar, Uruha ! »

 

Ruki's smile was a bit strained, though. Kai nodded at them. Both of them wore oversized shades that made them look like weird insects.

 

« Hey. Did you see Aoi ? »

 

« I'm just here. »

 

The stern tone of Aoi's voice let them all know that he wasn't in one of his good days. Kai forced a smile and tried to talk in a cheerful way.

 

«Okay. We're all here. In case we needed them, I brought the copies of our passports I made for the world tour. I also thought about the copy of all your health insurance cards. I think we're good. Let's get on board ! »

 

« Oh wow, what a precious leader-san you are. You haven't been able to make the management change their mind but luckily you thought about everything for our little trip... »

 

Reita's sarcastic answer made Kai pause, confused.

 

« I always think about the administrative forms for all of us. That's part of my job ! And what are you talking about ? »

 

Reita shrugged again, before replying on a dry tone.

 

« I don't know. Maybe you didn't make them change their minds because you actually... Didn't wanted to upset them ? Because you still wanted them to see you as the good boy you are, always trying to make everybody follow the rules and obey ? And maybe the cruise didn't sounded that bad to you? »

 

Kai's eyes narrowed dangerously.

 

« Are you accusing me? Of not defending you because I didn't think it was worth it ? Of being an ass kisser ? Of having let my personnal desires prevail on the other member's wishes ? Is that what you're accusing me of, Reita ? »

 

Reita looked at him dead in the eyes, and didn't answer.

 

« If that's what you're thinking about me, I'd suggest you to let us know, because if you don't trust me anymore for whatever reasons, I'd rather not have the burden of being your leader anymore. »

 

« Oh, because being the leader is now a burden for your frail shoulders, drummer-san ? I thought you were rather enjoying it, being the control freak you are, and that you loved the money that goes with it, too, right ? »

 

Aoi pipped in.

 

« Hey, Reita, I think you really should shut up now. You know Kai's always only had our well-being in mind, and that he's always fighting for us. You're being unfair. I understand you're mad- »

 

« I didn't ask for your fucking opinion, Oji-san. It's funny how out of us all, you're the only one who doesn't know how to control his anger, but who always try to teach us your wisdom ! It's quite incredible that-»

 

« For your information, Reita, I didn't wanted to go. At all. My grandma had a hip surgery last week, and my mother is alone at home to care for her. My plans for this week off were to go to help her, and we planned the appointment for the surgery at this special time on purpose, months ago. I had to find a home-care nurse in emergency, and I hope everything will be fine. »

 

They all stayed silent after Kai's interruption. Reita was staring at his feet shamefully, while Aoi was still sending daggers to him, and the tense atmosphere was really beginning to get on their nerves.

 

Ruki cleared his throat.

 

« Ahem... Maybe we should chill a bit, guys. Nobody wanted to come, but here we are and we have no choice, right ? We're all sorry for your grandma, Kai-kun. I hope you'll be able to relax a bit and maybe we will try to not ask you to think about everything for us for a while, right ? » He smiled hopefully at Kai, who nodded again, but avoided his eyes. « Okay, let's go ! » He caught his suitcase with a fake enthusiasm, waiting expectantly at his bandmates to imitate him.

 

Aoi rolled his eyes, and huffed.

 

« How surprising! »

 

« What the fuck does that mean ? » Ruki put his suitcase back on the ground.

 

« That obviously you're the only one who's happy to be here ! Because this kind of luxury pretentious cruise shit suits you the most, right ? How convenient, that the trip we've been forced on is exactly what you're routing for on a daily basis ! Luxury, body care, a shopping area... Aren't you a lucky guy? »

 

« You know I was opposed to this cruise at least as much as you did ! And I don't know how me liking these things is a problem to you? I mean it's not like I forced you to come with me shopping or visiting beauty institutes... » Ruki's voice was raising dangerously, the atmosphere around them turning to a general fight.

 

«The only thing I said is that you, our little luxury addicted chick, would be the only one really enjoying this ! And I wondered if maybe the management had chosen this trip on purpose, because they knew you wouldn't be too much opposed to it, and that it would be easier to convince us if our little bossy whimsical vocalist didn't refused right off the bat. » Aoi added with an irritating mocking tone.

 

« ...Luxury addicted chick ? Bossy whimsical ?... » Ruki's voice had lowered to a mere whisper. « Do you really think about me as the bitch you describe ? » He was clearly hurt, if Uruha could tell by his trembling bottom lip.

 

He couldn't stand to see his friend in such a state, and decided that it was time for him to step into the argument, trying to soothe his band mates.

 

« Aoi, I think you shouldn't lash at Ruki like that. He hadn't ask for this, just like all of us, and we're all upset that we've been forced to attend this cruise, but we really should- »

 

« Oh ! Look at you ! Coming like an avenger to defend our little princess in distress! How romantic of you ! I'm glad you finally awoke and felt like involving yourself in the nice conversion we're all having, that's nice of you ! »

 

Uruha blushed and stopped talking, while Reita made a step forward, threatening Aoi with a warning finger.

 

« You know what would make my day just now ? Punch your stupid face, Aoi. You're lecturing me but you're not any better ! »

 

« Come on, macho man, come and punch me if that makes you feel better ! Feel like an avenger too ? »

 

«ENOUGH!!! »

 

All heads turned to Kai, who had put back his shades on the top of his head and was now looking at them all with anger.

 

« I'm done with your shit ! Aoi, Reita, if you feel like murdering each other, please do, we will all be glad to be freed of your stupid asses. But first we are going to come aboard and check-in, and as soon as it'll be done, you all can do whatever suits you, I don't give a fuck anymore. » He turned his heels and grabbed his suitcase, walking away from them with angry steps. Aoi followed him, but not without sending Reita a murderous glare, that the bassist returned. He let them take some more steps behind before walking too.

 

Ruki hadn't said a word since Uruha had come to his rescue. He looked defeated, his head down and his shoulders slumped. Uruha caught his own bag and grabbed Ruki's suitcase.

 

« Come on, Ru, we shouldn't make Kai wait. And don't take what Aoi said seriously, you know how he gets when he's in one of is legendary bad moods, ok ? »

 

Ruki nodded weakly and tried to take back his luggage, but Uruha shook his head.

 

« You already seem like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, let me help.»

 

« I'd rather carry my things myself, but thank you, Uruha. I'm already enough of a stupid pretentious bitch, I don't want anybody to believe that I'm using my friends as my personnal slaves... »

 

They finally gathered at the entrance of the first deck, where an overly joyful staff member greeted them and gave them the locations of their rooms with the programme of the cruise, as well as the hours of the meals in the common lunchroom, and a plan of the boat with a list of all the available sorts of entertainment they could find there. -Theater, disco, outdoor lounge, outdoor spa, sleeping under the stars, retractable marina, water skying and jet ski, movies on the deck like a drive in, beach barbecues, fitness center, beauty salon, karaoke...-

 

« Jeez, it's just like Disneyland » Uruha mumbled, and it earned him a weak chuckle from Ruki.

 

« So... Gentlemen... Room 312 has been booked for Takashima-san and Suzuki-san, here are the cards to unlock the door. Double bedroom with de-luxe bathroom, private balcony with view on the ocean.»

 

If Reita was still more than upset, knowing that he'll share his room with Uruha soothed a bit his nerves. He grabbed the cards, and handed his fist at his best friend, who hit it with his own, grinning.

 

« Shonan-duo's in the place ! » Reita winked.

 

 

« Then, we have room 314 for Shiroyama-san and Matsumoto-san, same commodities than room 312... Here are your cards... »

 

Aoi avoided Kai's stare while Ruki, his lips pressed in a thin line, took the cards from the man. Uruha felt immediatly bad for him. Being trapped in a room with a moody Aoi was bad enough in itself, but after the scene that's just been taking place, these two were just going to make each other live a living hell until the end of the cruise.

 

« And finally, Tanabe-san... Room 316, a single bedroom with king-sized bed, de-luxe bathroom and private balcony too. Here's your card, sir. I'm the one in charge of this area of the boat, so if you need anything, here's also my phone number, I'm Jin and I'm at your service. »

 

They all thanked him before he bowed and left. They stood awkardly in the hall leading to their room, and as Ruki began to drag his wheeled suitcase in the direction Jin had just showed them, looking perfectly depressed, Kai stopped him.

 

« Hey, Ruki-kun, wait ! I'm... I... I don't want the single room. Here, Aoi, take my card, I'm gonna share with Ru. »

 

« What ? You must be kidding me ! The king-sized bed and all, and you could spend time away from us... »

 

« No, no, it's okay, really. Besides, I won't be able to relax if I am constantly worrying about one of you two throwing the other overboard... And I don't want people to believe being the leader is only a way for me to have more privileges and money. »

 

He avoided Reita's incredulous stare and exchanged his card with Aoi, who looked a bit ashamed.

 

« Are you sure ? I promise to not upset Ruki further, you know, maybe you- »

 

« Shut-up, Aoi. Enjoy the king-sized bed. I know that out of all of us, you're the one that appreciates his intimacy the most. It's ok, I'm fine.  »

 

« Hum, Kai... I'm sorry... I didn't- »

 

Kai didn't even bother to pretend that he was listening to Reita. He just ignored him and threw his bag on his shoulder, gently grabbing Ruki's arm, and added cheerfully.

 

« Come on, roomie, let's explore our neighborhood! »

 

Reita stayed still in the middle of the hallway, his luggage at his feet, and looked at his vocalist and drummer as they walked away. A weird kind of feeling hit him, a bit like if someone had dropped a bowling ball right in his stomach. Kai had never ignored him on purpose. Never.

 

He felt Uruha bumping his arm against his side.

 

« Come on, Rei. Let's discover our room. »

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... Here's chapter 2!  
> Thank you all for the lovely comments, I'm enjoying writing this way too much, hehe. Ah, by the way, I've never been on a boat and these kind of cruises are unknown territory for me! So I just did some researches and I took whatever seemed good to me for the fic ^^... It's crazy you can actually find all these things on a boat, right?
> 
> The revelation of one of our ships here, and more than hints about another one ;)

They whistled as they walked in the room. It wasn't big, but it really looked cozy and had a very classy vibe. It was decorated in soft beige and white, and the only dark things of the room where the big brown pillows on their beds, who were each against the two opposite walls of the room, at their left and right when they opened the door. Big brown thick curtains hid the bay window that lead to the little balcony in front of the main entrance. Some cupboards were located at the bottom of their beds, and they could also see big drawers under the beds too. And at the left of the entrence door, was another door that Reita opened as soon as he'd let his bag fall on his bed. He whistled again, and called his friend with a chuckle.

 

« Hey, Uru, the bathtub itself is bigger then our beds ! And all these beauty products, oh my ! I bet Ruki will never leave his bathroom ! »

 

A huge white bathtub with golden faucet was throning in the middle of the room, and near the matching sink, and the gloden framed mirror, were several shelves with all kind of Bulgari beauty products.

 

Uruha hummed as he passed his head in the bathroom.

 

« Yeah, I'm sure he'll like it. I hope he'll enjoy it and that it won't remind him of all the stupid shit Aoi told him. That was really lame and unnecessary mean. »

 

Reita looked at him fondly.

 

« Yeah, I figured you'd say that... Especially because it was about Ru. »

 

Uruha blushed and shook his head.

 

« Even if wasn't about Ruki, Aoi acted like a dick. And excuse me for being honest, but you've been quite an asshole with Kai too. And I think you know it... »

 

Reita's good mood deflated all of a sudden. When he thought about the way Kai had left without even a glance at him while he was trying to excuse himself, something in him felt sick. He huffed and passed his hands on his face tiredly.

 

« Yeah, you're right. I don't know what got into me, honestly. I've never... thought anything like this about Kai. He's one on the most honest people I know. I am just so angry about anything since we've been forced on this cruise, I think my mind just wanted an excuse to snap at someone. Unfortunately it was Kai.  I screwed up and I don't know how to apologize... Nor if Kai will ever want to talk to me again. »

 

Uruha sighed.

 

« I know you told me you got over the crush you had on him some months ago but... I can't help but think that maybe you reacted this way because you're still- »

 

« It has nothing to do with that ! It was stupid and just a passing fancy, I was lonely and I swear- »

 

«Yeah, yeah, whatever... Rei, you can swear as much as you want, but I'm still your best friend, and I know when something's bugging you. There's been some time now that you're being weird with each other. Maybe you should take the opportunity that we're all here, to take some time to talk with him and sort whatever you should out ?… But hey, you'll figure it later. For now, let's unpack and watch the boat leave the port from the balconny, okay ? Then you'll go knock next door to kneel to Kai-sama, how does that sound ? »

 

« Yeah, good idea. Thanks, bro ! What would I do without you ? »

 

« Eh, share a room with Aoi and... die ? ».

 

 

Half an hour later, once their things were neatly arranged on their cupboard's shelves, they went out and silently watched the boat sailing away from the land, breathing deeply, just letting the warm air of spring gently caress their faces. And suddenly, from behind the thin wall that separated them from the neighbor's balcony, they heard Ruki's voice.

 

« Hey, Kai, you really should come here and breathe. It's beautiful, and you could use some peaceful sight now, you know ? It's relaxing. »

 

« Yeah, you're right. » They could hear Kai sigh, and Reita's stomach didn't feel better.

 

« You know, I think Reita didn't meant what he said. He was very upset by these forced holidays, and I think he must really feel bad now. It's not like him to be that inconsiderate. »

 

Uruha smiled softly at Ruki 's words, and Reita too. Kai didn't answer immediately, and when he did it was with a tired voice.

 

« I'm so worried about what's going on at home. I wanted to help my mom, to cook for her and my grandma, to tidy the house so that she'd only have to take care of grandma and wouldn't exhaust herself. I wanted this week to be special, a time when we could enjoy to be just the three of us, despite the health issues and all. Grandma isn't getting younger, you know, and I fear something could happen to her while I'm away. That's why Reita's words hurt me so much... Imagining that he could think so less about me while I was just trying my best to not show my misery, well, it just... » And Yutaka's voice became shaky. « I care a lot about all of you. As your leader, obviously, but even more as a friend. I never thought Reita, of all people, wouldn't trust me. He's been acting really strange for the last couple of months, and now I can't help but wonder if maybe he's been doubting my sincerity all this time. And it really hurts, because I know I'm not perfect, but I try my best for us all... But he was kinda right, you know, I didn't argued too much with the management staff that day. They were really vexed and disappointed about how we received their offer. Yes, they wanted us to stay together for the sake of the good cohesion of the band, but they also wanted us to receive this as a gift from them. They had tried hard to find something that would suit us all... They thought being on the ocean would please Aoi, that the luxury side would please you, and that as long as they would room together, Uruha and Reita would be satisfied. And that if you all would agree, I would too. I didn't wanted them to think we were all acting like divas, so I thanked them and left.» He paused. «But as I've been worried lately for my family, somehow, maybe I'm not efficient enough and what he mistook for unwillingness was in fact my failure to manage both my personnal issues related to my grandma and my job as a leader. »

 

Ruki shook his head and waved his hand in the air.

 

« Nonsense. You've been handling so many things, and none of them went wrong. We all have been working hard for this tour, and you've been the one keeping us going, Kai. Nobody is most qualified as a leader than you. And I'm not trying to flatter you, you know I'm not much of an hypocrite. I'm sorry you feel this way. You deserve to rest and then, you'll see it clear as day. I'm sure everything will be okay for your mother and grandmother. Maybe you should try to call them before lunch, what do you think ? And I'm sure that Reita will soon come to apologize... We all have trust in you... »

 

Their fading voices indicated the eavesdroppers that their friends were going back in their cabin.

 

Reita looked at Uruha miserably.

 

« He hates me, doesn't he ? »

 

Uruha made a face.

 

« I wouldn't exactly say it like that, but I'd say that you really have to do something about this, like, really quick, if you don't want to regret what you said forever. Do you have any idea on how you're going to fix the mess you created, dumbass-san ? »

 

His best friend showed him his middle finger coupled with a fake glare. All the things Kai just said were ringing in his ears... And suddenly his eyes widened, making Uruha chuckle at the sudden change on his childhood's friend face.

 

«What's this face, dude ? »

 

« My brilliant mind just woke up, bro. I'm going to fix this like a boss and Kai will love me again. »

 

He quickly made his way back in their bedroom while Uruha lingered a bit on the balcony, still looking at the beautiful view. Yet he couldn't help but quirck an eyebrow and smirk at Reita's choice of words in his last phrase. _Is that so_?

 

When he came back in the room, Reita was typing frantically on his laptop, his phone stuck up between his shoulder and ear, talking with a bossy tone.

 

« Yeah... Well, that's not what I asked you. I don't want someone to go there tomorrow, I want someone to go there now, like RIGHT NOW, and do what I asked you to. If you're not able to, I'm going to hang up and find someone who will... It's important... Yeah... Ah, that's good, thank you. I like to ear this. I have no doubt you'll do a great job there ! Thank you again ! »

 

Uruha watched him with an amused smile. He had no idea of what Reita was at, but if there was something anyone can be sure of, that was that once his friend had set his mind on something, nothing could make him stop or change his mind. _Stubborn as a mule_.

 

He was on another call now, ordering what seemed like food.

 

« Hello, I'd like to ask your service for the next week, for food delivery, lunch and diner, the best things you have. Yes. I give you the adress ? Ok... Here it is... »

Uruha smile widened. He was beginning to understand Rei's way to apologize, and he felt proud of him. What he was doing was just like him, generous and kind. The real Reita, not the bitter angry guy he'd been this morning.

 

Realizing that Uruha was watching him, Reita winked, before he ended his call.

 

« I'm almost done, Uru. Just one more call and I'll go to find something for Kai... » He paused, while he dialed the number. « Yes ? Hello, Mrs Tanabe, it's Reita !How are you ? ... »

 

*****

 

Kai wasn't a guy who felt easily depressed or sad. But his usual cheerful and positive self had taken a bad blow when Reita had accused him in the morning, and it semed that he wasn't going to get through this anytime soon.

 

It wasn't helping a bit that he was sharing his room with Ruki, who looked like a kicked puppy ever since Aoi had told him all the stupidest things that crossed his mind. Yeah, to someone who didn't knew him, Ruki could have been seen as superficial or a bit snobbish, for his taste for all kind of luxury items or products. Yet he was everything but, he was in fact quite an humble and self conscious guy, and Aoi should have known better than insult him the way he did. Ruki's insecurities, that he kept hidden and tried to tame on a daily basis, had flared up with his bandmate 's speech, and now he was clearly distressed and sad, convinced that the whole world was actually seeing him the way Aoi had described him.

 

Kai hadn't expected to enjoy the cruise, as he knew he'd worry the whole trip for his mother and grandmother. But he hadn't expected neither to spend it in such a gloomy way.

 

The buzzing of his phone awoke him from his moody thoughts. He frowned when he saw who called, his guts painfully twisted as he answered.

 

« Mom ? Is everything ok ? »

 

« Everything's okay, honey !I just called to say we're fine, and you don't have to worry about us, you know ? We really want you to enjoy this cruise! I just hung up with Reita and- »

 

« Reita ? » Kai paused . « ... Why the hell where you on the phone with Reita ? »

 

« He called us to be sure we were okay, and that everything he arranged for us was according to our tastes. You're a lucky boy, you know, to have such caring and sweet friends. Reita was worried about you, too. He told us how sorry you were that you left us alone, and he was afraid you would feel too guilty to appreciate your days off. »

 

« I... I don't understand, Mom. What are you talking about ? Things he arranged for you ? »

 

« Listen, Yutaka. Reita hired someone to clean the house here, so that I won't have to do it and could only focus on taking care of Grandma. He also ordered meals for us for the next week, so that I won't have to cook – and he said he chose the best caterer, because your grandmother needed to eat properly to get better... . And he also found that the boat you're on had a live-cam available, and he helped me to connect myself there, and now we can see the same view as you do ! Isn't it great ? I put it on your old laptop on grandma's bedtable, and she can admire the sea too, she's delighted ! »

 

« He what now ? I... I didn't know... He didn't tell me... » Kai was dumbfounded. What the fuck was that all about ?

 

« I didn't want to accept this, you know, I was embarrassed. But he told me that if I didn't, you'd never allow yourself to have fun and you'll just endure these holidays instead of enjoying them. We want you to enjoy this, ok ? You deserve it, and Reita said he wanted you to be happy and relaxed because you gave them so much, it was a fair reward of everything you do for the band. »

 

« He said that ? » his voice was weak.

 

« And much more that he asked me not to repeat to you. » His mother chuckled. « Now you're going to listen to your mother, step out of your cabin and breathe some fresh air, and you're going to take a lot of pics for us, ok ? And have fun with your friends ? You're a lucky guy, you know ? Not everyone is lucky enough to work with their best friends and share their dreams with them ! Remember this ! We love you, darling ! »

 

« Yeah, you're right, I'll remember it from now on. Thank you Mom, for your call and your words. Love you two, hug Grandma for me, ok ? »

 

Ruki was sitting on his bed, his laptop opened before him. The room didn't allow any privacy, and he stared at Kai, who still looked like he'd just been slapped.

 

« Kai ? Is there something wrong ? »

 

« I... No... Everything's ok. I... I have to find Reita. »

 

Ruki would have worried of the way Kai stormed out of the room if he hadn't caught the hopefull and warm smile on his friend's face. He smiled fondly too, happy at the thought that things were finally going to be fixed between Kai and Reita.

 

 

*****

 

 

Kai stopped behind room 312, and brethed deeply before knocking.

 

« Come in ! »

 

He stepped in the room to find Uruha laying on his bed, glasses perched on his nose, with a huge book in his hands. He smiled, a bit embarrassed, and cleared his throat before asking where was Reita. Uruha smiled knowingly at him.

 

« He's gone. To find a gift for you. To make amend. »

 

« A gift ? I don't need a gift... I'd just want to talk to him now... Do you know what he did for my mother ? »

 

Uruha just smiled wider.

 

« Hu-hu »

 

« I didn't... Expect something like this »

 

« He's just trying to fix the mess he created this morning, because he feels really bad about it. »

 

« I have to find him. »

 

« Yeah. You should do that. »

 

Kai thought Uruha's smirk was kinda irritating. Before he left the cabin, he turned around and sent him a pointed look, happy to see the smug face turning a lovely shade of pink.

 

« Ah, actually there's a lonely distressed vocalist in my cabin, busy feeling down. Maybe you should try to make him lighten up a bit ? I know that his mood is always improving when you're around, and I wonder why ? »

With a wink he was gone.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you soon !!!  
> Always curious to know what you think <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is sailing, and one of our ships is too ;)

3)

 

A gift for Kai. What a bad idea, honestly. What the hell was he supposed to find here ? The shopping area wasn't that big, and besides, there wasn't anything that could potentially make an ideal peace offering for his friend.

 

Reita was frowning, his hands deep in the pockets of his baggy pants, when Kai found him. The drummer looked at him from afar, absent-mindedly realizing how naturally handsome he looked, in his casual clothes and without the noseband that ate half of his face most of the time. He approached silently, the bassist still lost in his thoughts, and he bumped his elbow with Reita's, making him jump slightly in surprise.

 

« Hey ! What the- Kai ? »

 

Kai chuckled at his friend's confused expression, and he replied with a shy smile.

 

« Don't torture yourself further, Reita. I don't need anything, really. But I'd gladly accept a coffee... »

 

Reita looked at his shoes, still uncomfortable about his attitude of the morning. He smiled weakly.

 

« A coffee sounds good. And it's the least I can do... »

 

They headed to the area were the bars were, silently . There were several of them, each one with a special atmosphere. Reita turned to Kai.

 

« You choose... Lounge, chabby tearoom, Hawaïan beach bar, jazzclub?..."

 

Kai looked around and his eyes widened at the shopwindow of the tearoom.

 

« I lied, Reita. I said i didn't need anything, but right now I do need a piece of this delicious-looking cheese-cake with my coffee ! »

 

Reita giggled, and caught his friend's arm.

 

« If you need it, I guess that wouldn't be very nice of me to refuse you, right ? Here we go ! »

 

They entered and sat at a little table for two at the back of the tearoom. The place was cozy and intimate, cream walls decorated with pastel watercolors. Reita ordered two pieces of cake and two coffees, and they fidgeted with their mugs before Reita dared to began to speak.

 

« I'm sorry Kai. For all the shit I told you this morning, for the way I took my frustration on you. I didn't mean anything I said, and I hope you will forgive me. You know how much you mean to us all, right ? »

 

Kai forced a smile.

 

« I won't lie to you and say it didn't hurt, because it did. A lot. And I thought that you'd been thinking like this about me for a while, because you hadn't been your usual self with me lately. You've been... Colder. Avoiding me. But you're telling me it's not true, and I wonder. Why, then ?

Did I say or do something maybe ? You know, you really should tell me if it's the case, because, well, sometimes I may-... »

 

« You didn't do anything. I'm sorry again. I've been a total idiot, and I've been selfish. Let's say it won't happen again, and come back to what we were, I mean, best friends, okay ? I miss spending time with you. »

 

Kai beamed at his words, but then he seemed to remember something.

 

« I miss it too. And, you can tell me if I'm wrong, but I've been thinking about it a lot since you acted so weird, and it seems to me that you've been like this since... The last time we went shopping together. You know, that one time we ended just the two of us hanging out, because Uruha canceled as Ruki needed him for whatever reason- not that he needed to have one, whenever he calls he just has to ask and Uruha just comes running to him... Whatever, I thought maybe that was one thing I did or say that day that annoyed you maybe ? But I can't find what, since when I try to recall it, I just remember how good it felt, how much we laughed together, how much fun we had and how perfect it had been for me. »

 

Reita looked at his cup of coffee shamefully.

 

Of course he totally remembered this special day.

 

_Uruha and him had planned a shopping day, they needed some stuff for their guitar and bass, and they wanted to vent off a bit and Kai had heard them talking about it after rehearsal. He'd asked them if they could bring him some things from the music store too, writing what he needed on a piece of paper, before frowning and letting a huff of frustration._

 

_« Na, nevermind. I think I'd have to go myself because I don't exactly know what I need. I will see it myself when I'll have time. »_

 

_« Why don't you come with us tomorrow ? We planned to go to the arcade games after, to eat junk food and to just have fun while we still can. »_

 

_« Oh, I wouldn't want to intrude, I know you two like to spend time with each other and value your « shonan-bro-time » a lot. »_

 

_« Come on, Kai-kun, we're inviting you ! It'll be fun and you need to relax a bit otherwise you're going to become an old grumpy leader before you realized it ! Come oooooon ! »_

 

_And just like that they'd agree to meet the day after. They spent a good part of the morning in the music store and bought all they needed and even more. Then they'd bought some street food and stopped at the nearest park to eat, all the while giggling and teasing each others. The mood was light and they felt free, laughing and joking like teenagers, only enjoying the moment and not thinking about anything work related. They had all had their share of stress and pressure on the past weeks, and they knew it wouldn't be over since the end of the upcoming world tour, and that's why they were so eager to escape a bit from reality, even if just for one day. Then they had headed to the arcade games where they played the whole afternoon, until Uruha received a call from Ruki._

 

_His best friend has gulped what remained of his beer before rushing to Ruki's, at their amusement._

 

_They had joked a bit about Uruha and the neverending -and unspoken- love of their guitarist towards their vocalist, and then they'd stood awkwardly at the exit door of the arcade. They both felt reluctant to go, and it showed._

 

_« Ah, this is too early to end that day, Kai ! Want to have diner somewhere ? »_

 

_Kai had been more than happy to agree, and they had found a little family restaurant where they had had some ramen -of course Reita would want ramen at least once in a day !_

_Kai had looked fondly at his bassist when he'd swallowed three bowls of different ramens while he was eating his curry._

_They'd kept on chatting mindlessly and caught giggles more often than not._

_They'd stood awkwardly at the exit door of the restaurant once again, and Kai had been the one to offer to go to the movie then, as it still wasn't that late. Reita had agreed eagerly, and they ended up in a theater, with a huge bowl of pop-corn and two sodas, watching the last Marvel movie._

_They found themselves standing in the street at the end of the movie, happily talking about the movie and sharing what they loved the most about it, and then..._

 

_« Thank you, Rei. I didn't know I needed to unwind that much, but today was great. I don't remember when was the last time I had so much fun. »_

 

_Kai had tightened his scarf around his neck as the wind sent them both an icy gust. His now blond hair were all ruffled, and for a moment all Reita could think about was how pretty Kai was, and how his only smile could make him feel warm despite the winter wind._

 

_« You're welcome, Kai-kun. I'm happy you agreed to come with us. Do you want to... Have a coffee at my place now ? » Reita didn't want this day to end, if he had to be honest. He didn't wanted Kai to go home, and he didn't want to go home alone neither._

 

_Kai smiled at him shyly, and Reita could swear he saw sparkles in his eyes. But it didn't last. Kai seemed to pull himself together, and shook his head no slowly._

 

_« Thank you for the invitation, Rei-chan, really. But I should come home. Rehearsal are beginning early tomorrow... and Jiro must be home by now. »_

 

_« Ah, yeah, you're right. I almost forgot you had someone waiting for you. » Reita had scratched his neck, and Kai had felt a pang in his chest as he watched his friend hide his disappointment. « Do you want me to take you home ? »_

 

_« That won't be necessary, my car is parked nearby. See you tomorrow, okay ? »_

 

_« Yeah, tomorrow, right. D'night, Kai. »_

 

_« Good night, Reita. »_

 

_And Kai had waved, and began to walk in his car's direction, when something had made him stop and turn. Reita was still there, in his typical posture, hands deep in his pockets, staring at his back while he was walking away, the shoulders he was so proud of slightly slouched, and a look of kicked puppy on his face._

 

_Kai hadn't think twice, he'd jogged back to his friend, and hugged him tightly, whispering in his ear._

 

_« Thank you again for today ! »_

 

_And on a whim, he'd kissed his cheek before running away from him, laughing and shouting at him, the blush on his face not only the result of the biting cold._

 

_« Go home before you freeze, baka-chan ! »_

 

_Reita's smile hadn't left him before he entered his appartment. He had taken off his shoes and leather jacket, and had caught a beer in the fridge before he launched himself on his couch, turning the tv on but not planning to watch it, all the while fidgeting with his phone, wanting to send Kai a message but not knowing what to write. His cheek still warm from Kai's kiss. His euphoria was short lived, though, as soon as he thought about Kai, returning home._

 

_To someone else._

 

_He'd cursed under his breath, throwing his phone on his coffee table and taking his face in his hands._

 

_« What the fuck were you thinking about, idiot ? What a stupid idea to develop a crush on one of your best friend, who by the way is also a bandmate, and has already a regular boyfriend ? What kind of dumbass does this ? You have to stop this right now, and not let this show. You have to be carefull and ignore it, and everything will be ok, just like before. »_

 

_He got drunk that night, and did just what he decided. He avoided Kai and tried to act the most neutral he could each time they had to interact with each other. Professionnal. But there was no light or warmth in his eyes as he looked at Kai anymore, too busy that he was to hide his inner pain, to deny the feelings that were keeping him up at night and that wouldn't want to go away._

 

He sighed.

 

« It was perfect for me too. »

 

He shook his head, wondering if he should go on, and be sincere with Kai, come what may. It was tiring, to hide his feelings, and he was fed up with this situation. Besides, after what he'd say to Kai some hours ago, maybe some heart to heart speech would do them good.

 

« I didn't want this day to end, to be honest. »

 

« Me neither » Kai looked confused. « Is it... Because of the kiss ? I know I probably shouldn't have. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, it wasn't my intention and- »

 

Reita narrowed his eyes.

 

« No, no ! That wasn't... That didn't embarrassed me, or upset me in any way. Actually, I... I liked it. The problem is... I actuelly liked it _a bit too much._ »

 

Kai's surprised face would have made Reita laugh if they hadn't been in the situation they were.

 

« Oh ?! »

 

Reita forced a smile and kept on, staring at his mug, too embarrassed to look at his friend in the eyes:

 

« I'm going to be sincere with you. We've been friends for so long, and we've always had such a great and uncomplicated relationship. And I don't know what got into me -I tried to understand what had changed, and at which point things had come to this, but I didn't find any answers to my questions... Anyway, someday I realized I didn't saw you as a simple friend anymore, and I had to face the truth even if I didn't like what it implied... I have a crush on you, Kai. I'm sorry. »

 

Kai's face was the embodiement of shock.

 

« Oh. »

 

« I've tried to ignore it and to get over it, but it didn't worked as I planned, and I'm still trying to get rid of these... feelings... And that's why I've been avoiding you. And probably why I was on the edge when I had to interact with you lately. I apologize. I will try my best to fix this and protect our friendship, because you're precious to me. »

 

Kai's cheeks were flushed as he struggled to speak.

 

« Why... Why didn't you just come to me and tell me ? Wouldn't it be less troublesome to talk about it ? »

 

« I didn't want you to be mad at me. I know you've been in a relationship with Jiro for a long time now, and I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable when we would be in the same room. »

 

Kai looked like he was still trying to deal with all the informations Reita just gave him. He seemed lost and confused, and he was stuttering madly when he began to talk.

 

« Okay... I... Maybe I should have tell you... I didn't want you all to pity me or something... And I didn't really want to think about what it could imply... I didn't want to make things complicated... And I thought that maybe I should talk to you once the tour would be over... I don't know... »

 

Reita's brow furrowed.

 

« I don 't understand. What should you have talked to me – to us?- about ? »

 

Kay breathed in deeply, closing his eyes and reopening them mere seconds later.

 

« I broke up with Jiro. Months ago. Actually, we broke up some days after the day we went shopping. When I came back home that evening, I couldn't stop thinking about how good I had felt all along the day, about how happy I was to had been able to spend time with you outside work. I hadn't felt like this since a long time. And I don't know... Maybe I was smiling to myself or something, maybe it was too obvious that I just had great time and that I was really happy... When I passed the door, Jiro was already there. He'd been, actually, for some hours. He'd tried to call me several times because he'd managed to have his afternoon off from work to spend time with me. I hadn't checked my phone that day. I could tell by the look on his face that he was beyond pissed off. He asked me where I was, and I tried to pacify him. I swear I did. But when I said that I had been out with you- and Uruha... He just began to spat stupid things at me, with so much disdain, saying that of course, why was he even asking ? Why would I be with someone else than one of you ? Why would I choose to be with him- _my boyfriend !_ \- when I could be with the guys I already almost lived with on a daily basis ? And then he just stared at me, cold and so angry... And asked me in a dead tone which one it was. I must say that I didn't understood right away, what he was asking me. I just stood there, I still had my coat and my shoes on, and tried to process what was happening to me. He repeated with his voice louder : _« Which one, Kai ? The sexy guitarist with his goddamn long legs ? -for some reason he could never remember Uruha's name- Is it him, Kai ? Or maybe Ruki, the guy is both cute and hot enough and I know how close you two are ? Or is it Aoi ? Yeah, maybe you fell for this motherfucker's legendary charm ? TELL ME ! »_

And as he was throwing these things at me, my mind went blank. Was Jiro really making a scene because he was jealous ? What did I do to make him think that I was cheating on him with one of you ?

And then : « _Oh, right, I'm stupid. You just told me you were with Reita. And the smile on your face when you came back said enough, don't bother._  »

And I wanted to deny it all, what the hell was he saying ? We hadn't done anything wrong, we'd just been out and had fun, and it was beginning to get on my nerves that he was accusing me for things I didn't do. Suddenly I was very mad, because I already had begun to question my relationship with Jiro for a while. We barely saw each other, we never had time. We could have found some time if we'd really want to, at least that's what I thought, and that's what I often complained about to him. We didn't share much. To be honest, I couldn't remember when was the last time we had diner out together. We were busy, to say the least, but I thought it would get better once the tour would be over and we could have some time for ourselves. The truth is, Jiro had never tried to understand what I was doing, to come to a live, to even listen to our music. He didn't understood how close we were, because he could only compare you with the co-workers he had at his business firm. I was happy when we met, because he fell in love with me without knowing the band. He fell in love with Yutaka, not Kai from the GazettE. And it was important to me at the moment, to know that I could be loved as myself and not as a rockstar. But to him, it wasn't understandable that I could invest myself that much in something that wasn't a real job, something that wasn't meant to last, because _let's be serious, Kai, you can't imagine yourself doing the same thing in 3, 5, 10 years ? Wearing make-up and weird clothes, and hitting the drums so hard your arms aches during days after a live._

I had tried to explain him, to make him understand how important this all was to me, how vital the band was to me. And how I didn't plan to stop it, not until my arms fell appart of my body. And that we weren't mere co-workers, we were brothers, a family, a whole. I explained it time after time after time, because each time I answered my phone to solve a problem for the staff, each time one of you called for any reasons, each time I stayed up at night to organize something or think about band related things, he still didn't get it. So I kinda... Stopped ? I did my things by myself, and just avoided to talk to him about the band, the tour, the music. And I didn't realize, up until that day, how sad it was, to not be able to really share your dream with the one you love. How deathly it was for a relationship. It was sad for me to get that I couldn't be only Yutaka anymore, I wasn't only Yutaka anymore. I was Kai. And I would always be Kai, even old and retired, because this band, this dream, the music, it was a part of me. And Jiro would never love Kai, because he couldn't understand him, _me_. »

 

Tears were pooling in Kai's eyes, and Reita's heart was breaking, looking at his friend in such a devastated state. They'd known from the start that Jiro wasn't fond of any of them or of the world they were part of -they had met a few times, when Kai and him were just official, and Kai had look so happy back then. But as Jiro seemed to always find an excuse to not join them when they were out celebrating or when they were just planning a diner all together, they'd all imagined that they hadn't won the man's heart as Kai did. Yet he'd never thought that Kai was suffering from the situation.

 

« Kai... God... I'm sorry... »

 

The drummer let a bitter laugh.

 

« Don't. I should have known from the start it wasn't going to work. Actually, we fought badly that night, and Jiro left my appartment to sleep at his place. We tried to sort things out the days after, but we always ended yelling terrible things at each other. The last time it happened, after he left, I put all his stuff in boxes in my hallway, and messaged him that he could come to take them the day after, that I wanted him out of my life. He didn't even try to make me change my mind. »

 

They both stayed silent, and Reita absent mindedly looked as a lone tear ran down Kai's cheek.

 

« I've been thinking a lot since then. About what I was looking for, in terms of partner, I mean. I'm not getting younger, and I have an important job that I love with all my heart, and that I don't want to jeopardize losing my time and energy with people who don't deserve it. I also understood that I only wanted to be with someone with whom I would be able to share my love for Gazette with. Someone who would consider me worthy of their time, someone I could make smile with not much efforts, someone I could make happy. And each time I thought about it, the image that came to my mind... Was your smile after I kissed you, that night. This beautiful, beaming thing... And the pink dots on your cheeks, too. Just like the ones you have right now. »

 

« But then, you began to act weirdly, and each time I tried to get close to you, you always found a way to avoid me. I finally resigned myself to the fact that you would never have any interest in me, and... »

 

Kai felt silent, and locked his eyes with Reita. The slacked jaw of the bassist, coupled with his wide eyes, made him look like his brain had encounter a fatal error. Kai chuckled softly, he'd seen GazettE related memes on social medias, joking about Reita's schoked faces and the way he always seemed a bit slow to process things that were happening to him... How accurate...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the great comments ;) It's a fantastic boost for my motivation, I swear^^  
>  Just keep on telling me how you feel about the story!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> Sorry for the lack of updates these last days! I've been a bit busy with life and work, and it's been a bit difficult to find time to write. Anyway, as some of you took the time to check on me, I want to apologize properly and as a thank you, have this little update for now! Things should be more calm for the weeks to come, so I hope to give you more really soon. And to make it up for the missed update of ONS last week, tomorrow I will post a new chapter, and on Sunday I'll probably post a new chapter of BDC too (hopefully ^^)  
> Enjoy!

Uruha was at room 314's door. He'd reacted as soon as Kai left. Ruki was distressed and alone. Ruki needed to be comforted. He'd tried to not run at his friend's door at Kai's words, because he knew that the drummer had probably wanted to tease him in return of the gentle mocking he'd submitted him to. But he couldn't possibly leave Ruki to his misery, right ? So he'd gone to the bathroom to refresh himself a bit, and had put a clean tee-shirt on, his book under his arm, his glasses at the top of his head.

He knocked and came in as soon as Ruki asked him to. His vocalist (he always proudly referred to Ruki as HIS vocalist when he was talking about Ruki to people who didn 't know him, it made him HIS at least for this.) was lying on his belly, on his bed, his laptop opened before him, a look of sheer exhaustion on his face. He looked sad, too. Uruha cursed Aoi in his head.

 

« Hey »

 

« Hey... »

 

« You look like shit, Ru. »

 

Ruki snorted, a weak smile on his lips.

 

« Thanks a lot, 'Ruha. What a precious friend you are... »

 

Uruha shook his head, smiling a bit at the sarcasm too.

 

«As I know you a bit, I'd say you haven't had any sleep last night and prepared all the things you had to for Nilduenilun. You sent messages, chose the models, suggested new products, chose materials and fabric, made some researches, examined all the options and bossed your team around to have everything ready for when we come back, so that you'll be able to catch up and not sleep again for two or three nights to be on time on the packed schedule you imposed to yourself. Am I right ? »

 

The guitarist's eyebrow was raised at Ruki. The vocalist wanted to look annoyed, but the curl of his lips said otherwise.

 

« Fascinating... And scary, too. How well you know me, I mean. » He paused. « But you know, I don't really have a choice. I've already set up a lot of things and people are relying on me for this. Of course Nilduenilun belongs to me, but I'm not the only one working for it to be as perfect as I want it to be. I can't let down people who gave their time and energy for my own brand, you understand ? »

 

Uruha sat himself on the bed, next to his friend. He sighed loudly, and lightly punched him in the arm.

 

« Yeah, I know how important all of this is to you. But overworking yourself won't do you any good, you know that, right ? And I'm pretty sure that Aoi's words are still turning in your head, and focusing on work is more comfortable for you than think about it. So I'm here to distract you a bit, both from your job and from our rude guitarist. »

 

Ruki was about to protest. Uruha shook his head, and gave Ruki a stern glare.

 

« I won't take any no. You're coming with me, we're going to find a quiet place to enjoy the sun. » Ruki frowned and made a face. « Ok, right, you can take your laptop if you want. But you're coming. Take your shades and let's go ! »

 

With an exagerated and dramatic sigh Ruki got up, put his shades on and slid his laptop in a tote-bag that accuratedly said « Never too busy to be stylish » and followed Uruha. They'd walked a few meters from their room when they heard someone running behind them They turned around, confused -why the hell would someone want to run on a cruise?- and had barely time to realize before the someone running caught Ruki in a tight hug, two arms snaking around his torso. Both Uruha and him jumped in surprised and he tried to struggle the grip of the assaulter, but to no avail.

 

« Oh, my god, Ruki, please forgive me. I'm sorry. You know I love you, right ? »

 

« Aoi?!? »

 

« Listen, I had no right to say so much shit about you. Reita just got on my nerves and... I don't want you to be mad at me. You're the farest from the ugly bitch I described as one can be. I'd fight anybody who would say such false things about you, you know ? I'm sorry I hurt you.»

 

Ruki awkwardly pat his guitarist's back while Uruha was just staring at his two friends, half relieved that Aoi took less time to apologize than what he'd expected, half annoyed that he'd chosen to interrupt them as they were about to share a moment alone together.

 

« Okay ? Can you maybe... release me a bit ? You're smothering me... »

 

« Ouppsss... Sorry !!! » Aoi hurried to release him, his two hands on his mouth like an overly apologetic kid. Uruha rolled his eyes. It was easy to be mad at Aoi, because the guy was a handful when he was in a bad mood, but it was even easier to love him to death, because he was just the most kind, generous and caring friend you could have on a daily basis.

 

« I have something for you. Wait for me here, ok ? »

 

With a warning finger pointed at Ruki, Aoi ran back to his own room. He came back with a basket full of fruits and chocolates, and another one filled with bath products.

 

« These were on my bedside table. I think it was intended for lovers or something, paired with the king-sized bed. I know how much you like sweet things, and take baths too. I didn't want to stress you more than you already are, ok ? So take a lot of baths, and relax. » Aoi smiled sheepishly. « And promise to slap me in case I begin to say shit again. »

 

« Aoi... Thank you... » It was Ruki's turn to hug his friend. He knew how proud Aoi was, and how complicated it was for him to apologize. He was deeply moved by the guitarist's words, and so relieved to know that he didn't think any of the things he said earlier. « You know I would never hit you- »

 

« I would. If you ever think about acting like an asshole again, I mean. » Uruha's stern voice interrupted them.

 

The two friends looked at him, who'd been leaning against the wall and looking at them, dead serious. Ruki's eyes widened, while Aoi chuckled whole heartidly.

 

«I know you would. »

 

Ruki caught Aoi's gifts in his arms, and prepared to take them to his room, smiling fondly at Aoi.

 

« If I want to finish all these baths products, I will have to soak on this beautiful bathtub for the whole cruise, you know ? » He laughed as he was walking away from them.

 

The two guitarists watched him go, then Aoi turned to Uruha.

 

« You know, you really should ask him if you can join him... »

 

« Hu ? »

 

« In the bathtub, I mean. » He winked.

 

Uruha sighed heavily.

 

« Aoi, I... I don't want to talk about this... With you... Now. »

 

Aoi's voice was serious when he replied.

 

« Kou... You know I love you. Not... Not in the way I used too, god forbids, but you know I only want what's best for you. But this, this isn't healthy, you know, to keep your feelings bottled up since so long. You're wasting precious time... »

 

« I'm not wasting time. It's not wasted as long as I can spend it with him. »

 

They stopped talking as Ruki reappeared from his cabin.

 

Aoi sighed.

 

« If you say so. I'm still sure you're making a mistake, though. » He sent Uruha's way a knowing look, and smiled at Ruki. « Have fun, you two ! Maybe we could have lunch together, what do you think ? I still have to go find Macho-Kun and Leader-sama to apologize, but after it's done I think it would be great, maybe ? »

 

« Sure, let us know where you're ready ! »

 

***

 

Uruha motionned to some deck chairs, a bit aside the main deck, on an area that was protected by cream colored sunshades. Ruki didn't like the sun and heat too much, and he wasn't that fond of them neither. That seemed to be like the perfect place to read and relax.

 

« Let's have a seat here, Ru-chan ? » And, spotting a kind of wooden counter with a pretty girl in a waitress attire behind it not so far : « Do you want an Orangina and some snacks too ? »

 

Ruki chuckled.

 

« Are you trying to fatten me, 'Ruha ? Honestly though, what would holidays look like without Orangina and snacks ? You're right, let's spoil ourselves a bit ! »

 

They went back to the deck chairs, their hands full – Orangina and chips for Ruki, beer and a cup of fresh fruits bits for Uruha-. They settled there, putting their loot on the little wicker table between their chairs, and laying there, Uruha began to sip his beer, and opened his book, under Ruki's amused gaze.

 

« What the hell are you reading, Uru ? This things looks like a dictionnary ! »

 

« Ah, it's a detective novel. It's quite good actually. Reita recommanded it to me, and- What ? »

 

« I should have guessed it before you said it. Reita reads a book and then you do, you buy a video game and then he does, you two really act like kids, you know that ? But that's cute, actually. And I think that's one of the things that keep us strong, as a band. » He paused, and shook his head. « I used to be a bit jealous of the things you two share, at first, you know?»

 

Uruha looked at him disbelievingly.

 

« Why would you be jealous? I mean, you're our best friend since so long, and we share a lot with you too! »

 

« Yeah, I know. But it's just... The way you two understand each other, how connected you are. That's weird, and so strong. » He laughed. « And I even thought that maybe someday you would realize that you were made for each other. I kinda prepared myself to it, because I knew that if you did, I would lose you both somehow. »

 

Uraha chocked on the sip he was taking from his beer.

 

« Wha...a..at? » He was trying to talk despite the coughing. « Are you kidding me? Reita and I... We never felt that way for each other. What are you talking about? »

 

« You're so oblivious, seriously! Don't tell me you never caught Reita looking at you with his puppy eyes? He kinda stopped after you began to date Aoi, I think he got over the crush he had on you, but I am sure he did felt that way about you. »

 

« I think you're wrong, Ruki. You misunderstood something, for sure. Reita never had the kind of feelings you're talking about for me. I'm not what he needs, and I've never been. »

 

Ruki was really amused, now. He sat on the edge of the chair, an intrigued smile on his lips. He was always curious to know what was on Uruha's mind. The guitarist's train of thoughts was always a bit awkward, but it never lacked of a certain kind of logic and was always interesting to know. People were always mistaking Uruha, who was a first class daydreamer, for a light headed and not very smart guy. They were _so dead_ wrong. Uruha had the sharpest mind and always felt things people usually didn't notice. As long as he wasn't concerned himself, that is.

 

« I'd be curious to know what Reita needs, in that clever head of yours? »

 

Uruha smiled, happy to let the previous subject fall into oblivion -Reita having romantic feelings for him being the most disturbing thing he'd had to think about- .

He liked to spend time with Ruki for this too -amongst a lot of other more or less embarrassing reasons- : he liked to have long discussions with him, meaningless or not. They always had something to talk about together, and could spend long nights just like this, side by side. Actually, Uruha was the only one Ruki called when he had one of his insomnia or a nightly panic attack, and they'd found that talking together was a good way to get rid of these curses of his. So that was what they did. When the phone woke Uruha up in the middle of night, he knew he would end in Ruki's bed (platonically speaking) a mug of hot chocolate prepared by Ruki's shaking hands on the nightstand, and they would talk until they both fell asleep. Uruha was proud of this, being the one Ruki always called when he was in need of someone. Being the one to come to his rescue. He loved this.

 

« Rei likes to show how much of a man he is. It's important for him, in his mind, to look strong. After all, he'd been the man of his family ever since his dad left, and he was only 6 then. He needs someone who will respect that, and who won't try to fight him to be the dominating one in their relationship. But he also needs someone who won't fault him when he'll need reassurance or when he'll feel like showing some kind of weakness. Because you know it just as much as I do, Reita is just a big softie with big arms, who will spent hours at the gym, and wil come back home to cry watching the Lion King. That's why this special someone will have to comfort and cheer him up, to be honest and caring, and will be handle things for them both but never question Reita's alpha position. And as Reita is a very sensible guy, he's easily affected by other people's mood, so that would be great if his significant other would be optimistic and had a happy nature. Anyway, the person he will choose will be a lucky one, Reita is one of the greatest human being I know. »

 

Ruki laughed softly.

 

« I think you're right, Kouyou. You never cease to amaze me, you know, with how accurate your thoughts are. » He took a sip from his Orangina bottle. « It's funny, to know that you can read as easily in people's need. When you began to date Aoi, I thought you two were the ideal couple, you know ? You were so happy, and Aoi was on cloud nine. I never understood what went wrong between you, and I really was so sad when you came to me ...

 

« That's right, we were happy at first. But Aoi is so insecure, so full of self doubt, so sure that he's not worth much. He's in constant need of fierce love confessions, of knowing that he means the world for the one he's in love with. And he can't bear the idea of not being the only one in somebody's mind. His love is explosive, exclusive, whole. He loves like he lives, passionately. I... Wasn't able to give him this. When he came to understand this, he became sad, suspicious, bitter. And I couldn't stand that I was the one making him suffer. I didn't love him like he deserved. I still feel guilty for what I did to him. He's been doubting himself even more after we broke up. Actually, he'd never been dating anyone seriously since. I hope he'll find someone who'll give him the kind of inconditionnal love he's craving. »

 

Ruki smiled sadly.

 

« I hope we will all find this, 'Ruha. »

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your comments are keeping me alive, as a writter, I mean ^^ Thank you for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo... ? Let me know what you think <3  
> For this specific story, I won't give a precise schedule for the updates, since I don't have much chapters already written. But I promise I will finish it, ok? And, hey, comments and kudos are a good way to motivate a writter, right?


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